what i did for men (or boys)

there's a meme about this somewhere.

i was thinking though that less interesting than the actual contents of what i did is the fact that i got so much more vanilla as ive gotten older. so much less willing to do anything for anyone that put me out even a little. back then (back then?) i was so interested in the world and in experience that i'd have done nearly anything just to find out what it felt like. there's something a little sad but also so nice about figuring out what really works and what doesnt at all and being completely comfortable with that.

it occurred to me that i bet many on my friends list have the same experience. you were young! you were crazy! you experimented! and now you're just happy to have a) an orgasm now and then; b) a go-to drink that isnt impressive so much as _good_; c) a job that makes you happy (did i really drop out of law school? did i really _go_ to law school? seriously?); d) a dress or suit that makes you look attractive ... not sexy or crazy or artsy or whatever, just _attractive_; etc.

part of that is marriage/kids/etc. but i think it started a good long time ago. maybe as long ago as breaking up with steve. i had that moment of why did i do all this stuff? for someone who wasnt even really worth it? seriously? what was i thinking? from now on, i only do stuff that sits easy.

in other news, J is finally getting over the plague. after a week!