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environment
Jul. 3rd, 2008 03:36 pmfor whatever was good or bad about S (the longest relationship i've ever had, still, though J is gaining; a long waste of time, mostly), he did convince me of two interesting things that I had not by then thought about: that the physical world IS the mental one, mostly, and that environment effects people. these are two things you can learn from nearly any libra, ive found. he was the one i lived with, so i learned it from him.
to that end, for years now, ive been trying to clean up my physical self. i lost 25 pounds three or four years ago, and though i gained back about 10-15, depending on the day, i have been at a pretty good weight for me. (this is of course somewhat less true just right now, as i havent entirely bounced back from pregnancy; but im working on it, and one thing i have always intuitively known is that sudden changes for hard problems rarely work.) and i've been running 2-3 times a week for even longer.
i cannot say that my chemistry is perfect for me now, what with the post-pregnancy thing. but i do think that my habits are roughly in the right direction of accomplishing that. i don't bemoan my ups and downs too much. maintaining weight loss for as long as i have is rare, and I've done it. so it's hard to be too hard on myself.
SO. now it's time for the environment. things had deteriorated to such a level of mess, that the few steps i'd taken had been minimal stabs in the dark. it is a big job. i am intimidated. J is even way way messier than i am, so things had gotten crazy. we are both pack rats, but he leaves me in the dust. lots of dust. over the last six months, we started tackling the garage. it is far from done. it was a default place to put stuff that we didnt want to deal with. we have been working our way through the symptoms of this bad habit for quite some time. like months now. how could such a small space require such a huge amount of time and effort? boxes.
boxes boxes boxes. we shop online. a lot. both of us. we put the boxes in the garage, and six months later, it is still there, along with every other box we have failed to get into the recycling since then. it is impossible to get at the bikes, the kayak, the yard work accoutrement. it is a stupid waste of space.
about six months ago, J suggested we get a shed. as you can imagine this sped up the box recycling project, as i was peeved that we had run out of room to the degree that it would require a whole new building for the boxes.
the baby inspired getting hold of my room. it wasnt that bad of a task, actually, since it was our guest room beforehand. every time we had guests, i had to get it cleaned out, so it kept things to a minimal amount of mess. of course, due to the no-crib thing, we need to baby-proof, and there are still a few steps left there. but not so bad.
about two months ago, after not having any time to clean, and J not being able to either, i finally hired a housecleaner. really, it's about dust and cat hair containment, and forcing us to tidy up once a week. so far, it's probably more than we need, but it's really such a great improvement, i dont mind the cost.
because, honestly, the improvement in my mental space has been dramatic. everything was so erratic there for a while, with me unable to think for more than a minute or two. i couldnt find anything, which is impossible when you rarely have more than one hand to actually do anything, and you cannot lean over.
we were only able to get the great room, kitchen, laundry room, bathrooms and Linus' room ready for her to clean. the office and our bedroom were too daunting. so this morning i finally pushed through the bedroom. it's amazing! there's lots that still needs to be done ... i need to organize the storage space, handle the book problem, clean out the bedside table, find homes for about three bags of stuff, and reorg the closet. but finally, it looks like what it looked like before we moved into the house: like an airy, easy, comfortable room. and i got far enough for the housecleaner to do her work, which means no more dust-monsters or corners of doom or whatever. the office is even worse, i dont even know how that will work, but at least i have most of the house mostly clean. much more organization needs to be done, but we are on the right path.
this is all part of the "becoming the person i hope linus will emulate" project. and it's already having a positive effect on my feelings about myself, and my basic emotions too.
another step of that project: getting my violin in playable order. that happens tonight. im thrilled.
to that end, for years now, ive been trying to clean up my physical self. i lost 25 pounds three or four years ago, and though i gained back about 10-15, depending on the day, i have been at a pretty good weight for me. (this is of course somewhat less true just right now, as i havent entirely bounced back from pregnancy; but im working on it, and one thing i have always intuitively known is that sudden changes for hard problems rarely work.) and i've been running 2-3 times a week for even longer.
i cannot say that my chemistry is perfect for me now, what with the post-pregnancy thing. but i do think that my habits are roughly in the right direction of accomplishing that. i don't bemoan my ups and downs too much. maintaining weight loss for as long as i have is rare, and I've done it. so it's hard to be too hard on myself.
SO. now it's time for the environment. things had deteriorated to such a level of mess, that the few steps i'd taken had been minimal stabs in the dark. it is a big job. i am intimidated. J is even way way messier than i am, so things had gotten crazy. we are both pack rats, but he leaves me in the dust. lots of dust. over the last six months, we started tackling the garage. it is far from done. it was a default place to put stuff that we didnt want to deal with. we have been working our way through the symptoms of this bad habit for quite some time. like months now. how could such a small space require such a huge amount of time and effort? boxes.
boxes boxes boxes. we shop online. a lot. both of us. we put the boxes in the garage, and six months later, it is still there, along with every other box we have failed to get into the recycling since then. it is impossible to get at the bikes, the kayak, the yard work accoutrement. it is a stupid waste of space.
about six months ago, J suggested we get a shed. as you can imagine this sped up the box recycling project, as i was peeved that we had run out of room to the degree that it would require a whole new building for the boxes.
the baby inspired getting hold of my room. it wasnt that bad of a task, actually, since it was our guest room beforehand. every time we had guests, i had to get it cleaned out, so it kept things to a minimal amount of mess. of course, due to the no-crib thing, we need to baby-proof, and there are still a few steps left there. but not so bad.
about two months ago, after not having any time to clean, and J not being able to either, i finally hired a housecleaner. really, it's about dust and cat hair containment, and forcing us to tidy up once a week. so far, it's probably more than we need, but it's really such a great improvement, i dont mind the cost.
because, honestly, the improvement in my mental space has been dramatic. everything was so erratic there for a while, with me unable to think for more than a minute or two. i couldnt find anything, which is impossible when you rarely have more than one hand to actually do anything, and you cannot lean over.
we were only able to get the great room, kitchen, laundry room, bathrooms and Linus' room ready for her to clean. the office and our bedroom were too daunting. so this morning i finally pushed through the bedroom. it's amazing! there's lots that still needs to be done ... i need to organize the storage space, handle the book problem, clean out the bedside table, find homes for about three bags of stuff, and reorg the closet. but finally, it looks like what it looked like before we moved into the house: like an airy, easy, comfortable room. and i got far enough for the housecleaner to do her work, which means no more dust-monsters or corners of doom or whatever. the office is even worse, i dont even know how that will work, but at least i have most of the house mostly clean. much more organization needs to be done, but we are on the right path.
this is all part of the "becoming the person i hope linus will emulate" project. and it's already having a positive effect on my feelings about myself, and my basic emotions too.
another step of that project: getting my violin in playable order. that happens tonight. im thrilled.
