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Month 3: comfort eating
Jun. 2nd, 2008 09:03 amI started depression eating.
It's lonely out here, with no close friends or family around to break up the day. Linus has been really grumpy the last week or so, not helped by the vaccination, which totally sucked. he didn't eat for two days, more or less, and I failed to pump to keep my milk, which I should have done. Now I'm playing catch-up. I pumped after the last feeding last night, and I came up with maybe a teaspoon or two, after he was done. And yes, grumpy. The one shining star is that for the last few days, he'll wake up, cry for food, and then wait for me quietly. This morning, he gave me time to pee and weigh myself and was just looking at me as I walked in his room. Amazing! But otherwise, totally grumpy.
So I don't have hands free or mind free enough to, e.g., read or talk on the phone or anything. So all day, I just take care of Linus and watch TV. It's completely boring and empty-feeling, but for that 45 minutes or an hour per day of awake and happy and playing time.
so my low weight after deliver was 143, and a week or two ago, I had shot up to 147. Not that much, but a lot for being over such a short time. So I started cutting out all the junky snacks, limiting the number of snacks between meals, and trying to drink more water. I mean, I was already drinking probably 2-3 liters a day. Now it's insane. but it's all I can do to keep from comfort eating. More importantly I started running and doing pushups. My all-time highs for those were 3.3 miles and 21 push-ups. I'm now down to 1.35 miles and 8 pushups. and man, it was SO hard to do even those. grueling. Finally, my run last night was not as hard as it's been, so it looks like maybe ill keep at that distance for this week and then increase next week. this morning I'm down to 144, so progress has been made. I'd like to get to 140 before we head to Italy in mid-july. I so don't want to be the fat american.
of course, im still depressed, so ive started comfort online shopping. some of the things we've gotten were things I'd wanted for some time (teak backyard furniture, and got it for a steal), but some of it is totally unnecessary. all told, i didnt spend as much as i could have, but i definitely have to start pulling in the reins. in leiu of that, i started looking for a babysitter to come in a few times a week, and looking for an occasional housecleaner. hopefully that will help with the funk ive been in, to have a break from all the baby talk and boredom.
bah.
It's lonely out here, with no close friends or family around to break up the day. Linus has been really grumpy the last week or so, not helped by the vaccination, which totally sucked. he didn't eat for two days, more or less, and I failed to pump to keep my milk, which I should have done. Now I'm playing catch-up. I pumped after the last feeding last night, and I came up with maybe a teaspoon or two, after he was done. And yes, grumpy. The one shining star is that for the last few days, he'll wake up, cry for food, and then wait for me quietly. This morning, he gave me time to pee and weigh myself and was just looking at me as I walked in his room. Amazing! But otherwise, totally grumpy.
So I don't have hands free or mind free enough to, e.g., read or talk on the phone or anything. So all day, I just take care of Linus and watch TV. It's completely boring and empty-feeling, but for that 45 minutes or an hour per day of awake and happy and playing time.
so my low weight after deliver was 143, and a week or two ago, I had shot up to 147. Not that much, but a lot for being over such a short time. So I started cutting out all the junky snacks, limiting the number of snacks between meals, and trying to drink more water. I mean, I was already drinking probably 2-3 liters a day. Now it's insane. but it's all I can do to keep from comfort eating. More importantly I started running and doing pushups. My all-time highs for those were 3.3 miles and 21 push-ups. I'm now down to 1.35 miles and 8 pushups. and man, it was SO hard to do even those. grueling. Finally, my run last night was not as hard as it's been, so it looks like maybe ill keep at that distance for this week and then increase next week. this morning I'm down to 144, so progress has been made. I'd like to get to 140 before we head to Italy in mid-july. I so don't want to be the fat american.
of course, im still depressed, so ive started comfort online shopping. some of the things we've gotten were things I'd wanted for some time (teak backyard furniture, and got it for a steal), but some of it is totally unnecessary. all told, i didnt spend as much as i could have, but i definitely have to start pulling in the reins. in leiu of that, i started looking for a babysitter to come in a few times a week, and looking for an occasional housecleaner. hopefully that will help with the funk ive been in, to have a break from all the baby talk and boredom.
bah.
