Jun. 1st, 2009 09:09 am
rackmount: (Default)
Ok you guys, you know I watch very little TV, but when I get obsessed, I get obsessed.

I am now a total GLEE fangirl.

If you were/knew a drama kids or show choir girl in high school, or even if you just thought that This American Life EP on what I ACTUALLY learned in music class was funny, this show is totally snarky/funny/joyful. It's pretty derivative of Election in some ways, but somehow it lacks the meanspiritedness. Actually it's a lot derivative of a lot of things. The girl lead is totally Reese Witherspoon in Election, down to the tight-lipped way of talking, and the male lead is basically Chris Klein in American Pie. It even has a sassy black girl and an effeminate Marc-wearing gayboy. But somehow the pieces that should be a snore actually make for riveting TV. I mean, I HATED drama and choir girls. But I'm totally into these characters, after just seeing the pilot.

And there's something so compellingly terrific about the Greek chorus responding to the story. Like when some character is about to do something really shifty or startling, the chorus, like bees, does this NoNoNoNoNoNo insane chant. It sounds obvious, but it's really funny.

And what's up with Jane Lynch? She's everywhere right now. I mean, I couldnt be happier, she's totally rad. Here, she's the sadistic competitive cheerleading coach. It's exactly as awesome as you'd think.

Anyway, HULU this, stat. I watched it twice last night. It occurs to me that two of the three shows I watch are about things I kind of hate, high school football and show choir. WTH?
rackmount: (Default)
Hey everyone, here's another of those women can't have it all features. poor poor working women. why don't they just land a rich upper-middle-class man and stay home and watch kids? that's how it's _always_ been done (nevermind that that's completely untrue for most women in most of the world).

I certainly have a certain amount of guilt about having this 4+3 schedule with linus (staying in the city four days/3 nights). But that wasn't how it was when I began. I checked the hours I was with Linus and it all made sense. Sure, I concentrate my time with linus over three days rather than seven, but J takes up the slack on the other four nights, and I more than make up the time on Friday through Sunday, spending every waking moment with him from Thursday night through Sunday night.

What I found out is everyone is VERY CONCERNED for me. Am I getting divorced? Is Linus going to wind up with a shrink? Am I a bad person who must necessarily feel like a mini-Hitler? Is J apparently unable to control his woman? This is a slight exaggeration of course (except about that first thing; I've literally been asked several times now if I was on the path to divorce), but I'm becoming really angry about it. Not ONE person has asked me how much time J spends with Linus. Not ONE person has understood that this is all a factor of me GIVING UP the place I chose to live, to be with my partner ... and also a factor of my partner's job being such a time-sink.

To give up my place in the city would also force me to give up my job, the other major life-choice. Between moving away from where I wanted to be, giving up my job, and having a baby in the first place, I'd basically be giving up every major life choice that I had made to ensure my own happiness. Not that I've asked for everything, mind you, or even most things. I gave up where I lived (that is, having friends and culture, basically). I gave up the idea of being child-free. Instead I agree to the kid, and gave up where I lived in return for keeping my job (at the expense of an enormous amount of my time in commuting).

Ever since we started this little try-out period of me staying in the city a few times a week, I've had these little nosy questions, or cover-ups with certain people, or whatever. There are a number of people who really want me to feel guilty about this. And I started to. What the hell? I've given up everything, practically, that made me happy, for something that I was pretty sure would not make me happy, at least in the short term. I had my reasons. I was doing fine. But the nagging voices of people who SHOULD KNOW BETTER insinuating that I shoudl feel guilty and terrible all the time.

My guilt has turned to rage. Fuck that noise. I don't want to have no friends, and no live music, and no time, and no interesting job and no personal fulfillment. I won't give it all up.

derby day

May. 4th, 2009 08:48 am
rackmount: (Default)
exhausting but fun. it was smaller this year than it has been in the past, but i couldn't have handled much more. the littmans ended up bringing the model T, so as to show the jaguar and porche owners who was boss. it was exactly what i would have done, total reverse snobbery, though they would not have said so.

L has a bad weekend. he's gotten clingy, and won't be taken care of by anyone else if i'm around. it could be worse, since he seems ok when I'm not around. but i'm not wild about how that plays out, that i cant be around him without him being on me. and sunday, he was just grouchy and unpleasant. by the end of the day, it took me two hours to stop being angry and tense.

on the plus, we found good stuff at the rummage sale. not a ton of clothes, but a good start for the next year. no shoes though. and we found a nice dump truck and lego set (he's too young for it, but never to early to start collecting), and some wood numbers that can easily be montessori-ized. we ALSO got a beautiful sideboard, which will allow me to get some stuff out of the kitchen and make more room for L to play in there.
rackmount: (Default)
I read somewhere not long ago that Garance Dore is dating Scott the Sartorialist.

I shuddered when I read it. Can you imagine having to keep up appearances to that degree? I mean, always looking perfect or at least unstudied but cool? Like, forget your period underwear or occasionally just wearing the damned white socks with dark shoes (OK, it doesn't happen often, but it happens when my dark socks are in the wash) or forgetting to make the eight-week hair appointment or whatever.

It makes me appreciate having a husband who's primary criteria for women's clothing is a) do the girls look good and b) how easily could the clothes come off. A little simplistic but not so bad when you consider that I could really just wear wrap dresses for the rest of my life and he'd be perfectly happy.


Happy passover everybody.


Mar. 31st, 2009 10:20 am
rackmount: (Default)
department of damned if you do, damned if you don't: gender discrimination in college admissions. via [ profile] msggoat.

in a funk

Mar. 12th, 2009 03:00 pm
rackmount: (mad)
Serious doldrums my friends. I'm not sure how much more I can take. Here's a list of happy things:

+ Mcqueen for target zig zag dress
+ Cat's still in the city
+ Awesome membership to Allianz Francais
+ Cooking big batches of food courtesy of awesome Wusthof knives
+ Sparkling lemonade
+ Escapism courtesy of Geraldine Brooks
+ Still have a job
+ incremental improvements at home

oh and, if any of my NYC folks are interested, Linus is having his 1st birthday party, along with his cousin Zora, this Sunday on the upper west side. it will be casual. there will be babies/toddlers all around.

His real birthday is March 25. This has been the longest year of my life, including law school. I no longer get told how young I look. Woo.
rackmount: (Default)

Montessori Mariah
Originally uploaded by rackmount
I will be really sad if we cannot send Linus to Montessori. I think it's because of this photo.
rackmount: (Default)
The U.S. PTO (Patent and Trademark Office) publishes a design manual to help search logos. Here's a little gem stuck in the middle of the design code manual:

02.01.04 Religious figures, men wearing robes, shepherds, monks and priests
Excluding: Asian-Pacific men (02.01.11) and wizards (04.01.25) are not coded in this section

REALLY? The design code manual has something in common with Miley Cyrus! Actually the whole Men in Sombreros section is kind of hilarious/frightening.

Out of curiousity I checked to see if the Religious figures section in the Women's cluster had the same exclusion. HAH! Women aren't religious figures; they only dress up like they might be:

02.03.13 Other women wearing folk, historical or cowgirl costumes, including gypsies; nuns

Gypsies, cowgirls and nuns. LOVE! It's like they made up a special Othering section, like Women>Madonnas. Women>Whores. WOmen>Gypsies (poor people), cowgirls (tomboys) and nuns (ugly, old). like you knwo, historical figures.
rackmount: (Default)
1. Get Linus in on food prep as much as possible.
2. Stop forcing food.
3. Do another round of get the crap out of the kitchen.
4. Start roasting vegetables.
5. Figure out some activities to do with Linus
6. Get some new board books with realistic pictures
7. More music/singing at home, and start practicing more


Feb. 24th, 2009 12:58 pm
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I actually enjoyed the Oscars this year, for the reasons you might expect. Yes the dresses were boring, but I thought Jackman was an inspired choice for host, and he did a good job. They had actual comedians doing the comedy, which went a long way. The Pineapple express thing had me belly-laughing during the Reader bit.I don't remember the last time I belly-laughed during an Oscars ceremony.

I'm so over the boring interchangeable actresses either wearing boring dresses or modifying interesting dresses into boring dresses.

I was really sad for reese, who would have been Fugged has she worn the original version of her dress, but who got fugged anyway, and didn't even rack up any cred for her trouble. that would have been awesome. i'd have looked at her in an entirely new way.

also? why doesn't anne hathaway rock some of that rodarte? she's got the body and the coloring for it, and it woudl be SO MUCH BETTER than the prommy boring shit she's been trotting out for years. also? the oscars have been looking like Bride Magazine for a few years now. Over white/nude/black. if you cannot glam at the oscars, then glam must be dead.

Holy Cow!

Feb. 24th, 2009 10:09 am
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The CDC National Immunization Survey is a nationally representative sample of the U.S. population, among infants born in 2005:

74.2% were ever breastfed
43.1% were still breastfeeding at 6 months of age
21.4% were breastfeeding at 1 year of age
31.5% were exclusively breastfed through 3 months of age
11.9% were exclusively breastfed through 6 months of age

That's crazy! I cannot believe these statistics. I'm hardly a touchy feely attachment parenting natural mom, but I am shocked by this, particularly that 30 percent were exclusively breastfed through 3 months. I certainly didn't have the easiest time, but Linus was exclusively nursed until about 4-5 months (although he drank from a bottle with expressed milk pretty early), and was nursed mostly through 6-7 months. I stopped between 7 and 8 months because my supply was drying up and it was stressing me out. But the WHO and most pediatricians recommend as close to exclusive breastmilk until at least 6 months. I'd be curious to see the statistics on moms like me, those who didn't _exclusively_ nursed through six months, but who only supplemented a small portion through six months.

It's apparently somewhere between 11 and 43 percent, which is pathetic.

Ordinarily I avoid discussions of such things, because the discussion is so stupid and ill-thought-out. but this is really interesting. Full story here.

EDIT: Lamentations 4:3 "Even the sea monsters draw out the breast, they give suck to their young ones: the daughter of my people [is become] cruel, like the ostriches in the wilderness." I like that.
rackmount: (Default)
as bad as this movie sounds, i actually kind of love this trailer.
rackmount: (Default)
Favorite Party Dress 1998
I wish I had a picture of this, but this is the diagram I drew for a friend of mine after it came up in conversation.

For the record, I wore the shit out of this dress. I mean, I LOVED it. And after drawing this, it occurred to me that I would still wear rave clothes of a certain sort every day if I could get away with it.

Bigger view for massive awfulness ... )
rackmount: (Default)
What do you use all the time? I'm gently easing into cooking little by little. Here are the things I actually use.

- My 5.5 quart Le Creuset Dutch oven. I sometimes wish it were bigger, and I would be irritated if it were any smaller. Le Creuset. Good company, they stand by their products. I literally use this at least once a week and end up eating leftovers from those meals all the time. If there's one thing in my kitchen that I LOVE, this is it.

- 10" All-Clad (LTD) Saute pan. This one's new, so I'm only getting to know it. I got a really nice AC set not long ago, with this, a fry-pan, a small saucepan, a big saucepan. Just the basic stuff. Very happy with it so far, but I'll bet I end up using the saute and the medium saucepan all the time.

- 10" cheap non-stick fry pan.

- I'm switching knives. I was using a SHUN chef and utility, but I'm in the process of switching to Wusthof, the Cordon Bleu series, chef and paring. I should have listened to B about this.

- Roasting pan with V rack. Got this to make turkey for thanksgiving, so it was ultra cheap, maybe $20, but I use it lots now to make whole chickens. I've got a dynamite whole chicken recipe that requires no basting, it gets all the flavor and moistness from brining and being stuffed with onions, rosemary and garlic.

- Giant wooden spoon.

- Gas grill. J is a genius with that thing.

- Electric vegetable steamer. It's the only way we eat vegetables.

- Pyrex 2-cup measuring cup

- Good Grips peeler

Things I shouldn't have bought:
- Shun knives. knicked blade like a month after I got it.
- Le Creuset medium saucepan. I've used it a lot, but I probably won't now that I have the AC stuff.
- silocone stuff - hard to keep clean
- Waring waffle iron - I've had two, one broke after about a year of use, the next broke after about a month, or really one waffle party. I will say, I love my Waring blender, which I abuse to no end. Anyone have a good waffle maker?
- Kitchenaid stand mixer - for the number of times we've used it, probably should have just gotten a hand-mixer.
rackmount: (Default)
Linus crawling out of bed

I love the fact that not having a crib means that if Linus wakes up before we do, he just gets out of bed, crawls over to the toybox and finds something to do. (Sometimes: sometimes he's too hungry and wants to eat PRONTO.) I didn't think too much about the Montessori idea of not having a crib ... a crib just seemed extraneous. But I've definitely come around. I like the idea that Linus starts every day by deciding what he wants to do, not being hampered by having to wait for me or J.

Also, Linus sleeps with his hands behind his head!

Linus relaxing

madge in W

Feb. 10th, 2009 08:50 am
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what I love about this is that it's so clearly that madge was all, "my 40s are for being mumsy and getting spiritual. my 50s are for moving into a hotel, getting a boytoy and becoming a cougar."

you can almost see her 12-year-old-self to-do list:

teens: move to new york
20s: get famous
30s: become gay icon
40s: have family, get classy
50s: balenciaga and boytoy
60s: ?
rackmount: (Default)
This won't make sense without context, but I don't know what to make of it exactly. I received a Christmas card from a high school friend who had "broken up" with me on bad(ish) terms while we were in college. For no discernable reason except that I had too many friends and wouldn't concentrate on her enough. At least, that's what I thought she said, it could have been my disappointment that she seemed like she was settling awfully quickly (though I never actually said that I felt it was so). I wasn't so disappointed that I wanted our friendship to end, but she was, and I wasn't about to beg.

Anyway, I got the Christmas card years ago now, but lost it in a move before getting her address down (you know how I am). And FINALLY I found her on Facebook very recently, so I jotted her a note and told her why I had not responded, and asked what she was up to.

This was her response:
Hi Mariah,
It’s funny you should send a note now after all this time. A month ago, I had a dream with your mom in it.

In this dream, I walked down a path to a sandy, rocky shore on the Oregon coast. I walked past your mom, who was with two grandchildren, a boy and a girl, both the same age. The kids were playing in the sand with buckets and shovels while Harriet supervised. I went past them to the beach and set up the painting I was working on in waking life. I worked for a while, and then left the painting, easel, and paints on the shore to do something else for just a moment. When I came back, the tide, which had been far away when I left, had surged over the beach. Everything was covered with water. I looked to Harriet. She said, “Well, duh, what did you think would happen?” I ran into the water, knee-high but still surging forward in rough waves. I found the painting and some of the paints, churned half-way into the sand. I wrenched them free and waded out of the water. The ocean was wild and the sky had turned dark.

I’ve had dreams with you in them, too. Usually, we’re happy to see each other after a long separation.

One evening when living in Oregon, I was sitting at my desk listening to birds and inhaling the scent of jasmine from my neighbor’s garden. I wasn’t thinking of anything in particular, but then I wrote this poem from start to finish. I think it's an answer to the “shocker” poem you wrote in Mrs. Schlievert’s class:

You wanted transformation from an icon –
a Russian Orthodox holy picture

would make a life
insulted by teen magazines
and kids with their own cars


Maybe you can reset my direction –
You can tear me down a little

you will make it hurt
but I am still the Russian beauty
walking by your side


You’ve always meant a lot to me. My question is, do you really want to be friends? If not, I can go back to dreaming. There is a part of the mind that cannot distinguish what happens in “reality” and what happens in dreams.

Do you really want to be friends? My goodness.

Anyway, this is what I wrote back:

It's not something I had considered, whether I want to be friends again. For me, friends happen or they don't. I'm open to the idea of it, but I cannot say, since I do not know who you are now. I won't be offended if it doesn't appeal to you. I had primarily wanted to apologize for not getting back to you back then, and secondarily was interested in what's happened to you; that says more about my distaste for having been accidentally rude, than about interest in you. As I said, it's easier to feel more strongly about things that I know about with certainty.

I have a difficult time reconstructing the past. My memory is terrible and things become hazy quickly. I have impressions of you and the group of us, but I think these were in some ways overcome by the way things ended. High school in general is a period I've largely forgotten, or revised to the point that my memories cannot possibly be accurate. For example, for the longest time, I _felt_ like my best friends from HS were CJ and two or three people from Perrysburg. That was how things ended. But it's not true at all, there were different periods where such radically different things happened, that it's hard to get a static sense of it. During HS, I had like five different lives that existed separately from one another, some divided by time, but as often divided by circumstance. In the end, I've allowed for how I am: there's no static fact of me, just a bunch of stories.

I don't remember writing a poem in Schlievert’s class. Was it shocking, or was that just the theme? I can only assume I had written about an experience I had with an icon from a religious weekend; I have always loved being able to actually feel transformation, and it rarely comes so fast as it does when in the hands of an engineered experience. I remember being very interested in perfection of form over individual experience. Such things have always been the source of transformation for me. In college I ended up studying Japanese Noh theater for some period of time, for the same reason.

I can only be self-aggrandizing here, since you mention the poem in the context of a note to me, but if you were implying that I though I had edited your path in any way... I don't feel so. I won't say I didn't try a little, but I don't think I had any hand in the person you were the last time I saw you. My greatest desire, then and now, was to be first author on my life. I am my own project; other people are not my project. I like to think that if I have useful information, I spread it around. But otherwise, people don't really change from who they are, and it's useless and self-involved to think otherwise.

You and I have always been very different. Beyond that, I do not know much. I certainly did not mean to impose.

The last "poem" I wrote was about insider trading on the New Jersey-NYC train. I've always been practical I guess, transformation through iconography or legally questionable Overheard NYC. I'm not sure it's different in my case.
rackmount: (Default)
namely, i have a certain distaste for people who disrespect their mothers. It's not that I think people should be required to respect their mothers, but they certainly shouldn't DISrespect them.

i think i have always felt this way, though there is some chance that it's just a product of having become a mother myself. as J pointed out, it's unlikely that Linus will disrespect me, what with the whole Jewish thing. I'm more glad that he will likely be the sort of person who does not disrespect his mother than the fact that this means he will not be disrespecting me particularly.
rackmount: (Default)
Jean Paul Gautier has been disappointing me for many years now. However? i would totally wear any one of these to the oscars if i were going (with appropriate undergarments, natch). somebody call up evan michael wood or drew barrymore, the only ladies who seem comfortable with taking a fugging for their slightly more daring choices (i loved that blue chiffon number).

The fourth one might even be tame enough to get away with.
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