rackmount: (Live Free or Die)
[personal profile] rackmount

Finally FINALLY seeing results from the long slow trudge that has been this year's health turnaround.

I had been trying to do sort of an intuitive-eating-inflected diet: not too over-the-top, mostly focused on eating higher-quality foods. I lost 8-10 pounds that way back in January/February. And since then, nothing. Those 8-10 are what I gained in the last year or two from serious depression, and were on top of my usual highest weight. So I've been stalled completely at the weight that, 10 years ago, I'd have been embarrassed to be at, though admittedly lower than my desperate angry sad years from hell weight.

So finally about 2 months ago, I decided to kick things up a little. I started couch25k, which has been.. an ok experience, though somewhat depressing, since I was in the worst shape of my life when I started. I've been at it since, and am still on Week 2. So that's humbling. But, I'm also doing a much better job now than I was two months ago of doing it without wanting to die, and also getting in the 3X/week schedule without fail. I got a FitBit a week or two ago, so now I'm also trying to get in 10000 steps a day, effectively doubling my caloric outbox every day. It's disturbing how sedentary I'd become. Back in the day, it was nothing to just get that kind of exercise in the normal course of the day. But the suburbs are hell. Left to my own devices, I'm a big lump.

The good news: I've finally broken through the plateau. I mean, it took that and cutting most alcohol and switching from my morning peanut-butter on toast to peanut dust on toast (not kidding), and I'm still only down 1-2 pounds. Friends in your 30s: 40s metabolism is no joke. Do whatever you can to get your body sorted, because it only gets worse.

THe bigger news is that, just like magic, the abdominals have made an appearance. It's always this way for me. I run not because I love running (not by far), but because it is the only exercise that gives me immediate and discernible results. No number of crunches or leg lifts has ever given me the abs that running does, along with the other more obvious things running does. I f-ing hate it, but it does the job.

And, for whatever it's worth, I'm finally back in normal range BMI. I have the kind of body for which BMI actually is an indicator... Completely average in most respects. When it says I'm headed toward "overweight," it's about the same time hat I'm reflected that way in the mirror and scale. So for me, it's something I kind of needed to do for myself. A fake line in the sand, but one that's been keeping me going over the many many months of trying hard and failing to see any result.

I'm hoping that this is a breaking point and the work begins to catch up a little. It's common for me to have a hard time breaking through the weight levels where I've spent a lot of time in the past, and this one was def. one of those. Before I lost a bunch of weight a few years ago, I spent the better part of a decade at the weight where I was plateaued. But I really have another 5 pounds or so before I hit a level where I feel really good about my body, and if the past is any indication, that's likely to take another 6 months, depending on how unbearable I'm willing to let the diet be. And that just isn't very likely. Life is still kind of terrible, and food is my most usual vice for that sort of thing. So 6 months it is. I'm reenlisting for a second term. The delight of having abs again is going to have to serve as inspiration.
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